August 27, 2010
I Could Have been

Twit, Twitter, Twiddle Lee Dee

A few days ago in all the major newspapers and gossip rags they listed the top ten Twitter All-Stars. Lady Gaga was number one with over 6 million fans following her every tweet. I have 60. Not millions, seriously 60 followers. Admittedly so, I only tweet when I have something important to say and I only say it once in a while. Thus 60. Now if I tweeted everyday and let us say I let people know when I wake up, take a shower, go to the bathroom and then make some phone calls to some good friends, who knows maybe my fan base will go up to about 61.

Ok. I'm not a rock star. I can not sing. Well I don't think she can sing either. Maybe if I change my name to Lord Blah-Blah, I will get a few more fans. I can perform in my underwear or nude, that should raise my numbers or lower them depending how you look at it. If people want to see an overweight, balding, guitar player perform that way, I am in! I too can become a super star.

But wait! I may have to stop playing very far out jazz and "God forgive me " , play music the public understands like Pop or Rock or even worse, I would have to play a solid body guitar with a fuzz tone, loose weight and wear a multi-color wig, tattoos and make-up with a long disgusting beard. Maybe then I can raise my numbers to 101 fans. Not Bad! I'm on my way.

Lady Gaga writes her own songs. I compose and write songs with lyrics. Lady Gaga can sit and sing on a trapeze. I could try that. I am afraid of heights, but what the hell, for my 60 fans I could that.

When Lady Gaga sings her songs, no one understands the lyrics. When vocalists sing my songs everyone understands the lyrics. Wait! Maybe that's it! I have to write songs that no one can understand and have singers garble the words, which will make them totally foreign and viably commercial. That's the key and the answer. I now know the formula to becoming world famous!

Write garbage, play garbage, look like garbage and the worse you are the more the public will love you. Gees, why couldn't I think of that 30 years ago. You see, that is what a manager is for. What a wasted career. I could have impacted millions but instead, 60 fans. Hey what can I say? 60 is better than none.

Dom Minasi

References
http://domminasi.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-could-have-been.html